By Steve Van Nattan, Editor: Balaam's Ass Speaks
Have you been called by the macho male voice, long tall Texan style, asking, "Howdy padna, would you like ta buy some tickets to du police Department's country jamboree ta stop drugs from gettin ta them fine little kids around town?" What are you going to say, "No, I want the kids to keep using drugs." Never, and they know it, so you buy the tickets. You don't attend the event, but you get a warm fuzzy feeling like you did the right thing, right? Wrong. You were taken badly.
The major company advancing this form of rrrrrrrrrrrip off commerce is MIDWEST ENTERTAINMENT.
Have you ever been asked to buy a ticket to the Sheriff's Rodeo- the one in Brooklyn, New York? Well the clown who makes those calls is NOT a law enforcement employee at all. He makes the calls for the cops, who haven't got the guts to put their hand out and beg. The guy calling gets as high as a 75% commission for making the calls. They may say, "We don't get a thing for doing this." Do you think they do it for nothing? They get their bucks, and they don't ride horses for them.
Tell the caller what he is-- a shake down artist, and tell him to send the cop around to your home to do his own begging, and you will give the cop a contribution. I had one of them tell me the cop would be around to visit me. I'm still waiting, Harry. You, dear reader, are a real fool if you contribute to these solicitors. Save your contributions for your 1040.
January 3, 1997
It happens folks, and here is proof:
Subj: Comment on : "Is You Da Law..."
Date: 97-01-02 20:09:45 EST
From: (James Roberts)
To: steve@balaams-ass.com ('steve@balaams-ass.com')
Peace in the Savior!
I was looking through the Seattle Times one find weekend, wondering how I could make a little better living, when this want ad caught my eye. I don't have it front of me, but it read something like, "Are you worth $10.00 an hour? ....telemarkers wanted....blah, blah, blah, etc. etc. etc. yak yak yak...." So I called it, having some in-bound telesales experience for a software order fulfillment firm. It turned out to be the agency that calls around here to sell concert tickets on behalf of one of the local Fire Department labor unions' "burn victim" charities!
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